reject with respect: a rejection survival guide (re-written 4 Bear)
i'm sure you're intrigued by the title of this blog! so, i've spent a lot of time on the internet, growing up as an only child definetely lead me to being extremely bored, thus getting to places i wouldn't even go with a gun. the internet is cool and all, you get to meet amazing people, consume good content, make real and genuine connections with people, but let's be real: not everyone who slides into your dms is someone you actually want to talk to. whether it's just an odd person with a crush or a freaking weirdo (you know the type), i realized that a lot of people on multiple platforms are particularly naive and might need a little help saying: "thanks, but no thanks!". inspired by the mix of users i've encountered online throughout the years, and my saviour complex, i thought to myself, why not write a guide on how to reject someone? because even in the digital age, rejection can be an art form. and one that is very necessary.
1. recognize when to say no
sometimes we feel pressured to be nice and entertain conversations we don't want to have. but here's the thing: you don't owe anyone your time or attention!!!!!!!! (crazy i know)
if you're not interested, you're allowed to say no. i know this is crazy information for some of us because we're people pleasers LOL. but trust your gut—whether it's an off-putting vibe, a lack of connection, or just not wanting to engage, your feelings are valid. rejecting someone is most of the time better than leading them on.
2. choose the right approach
the way you reject someone depends on the situation. if they're being normal about it, which is most of the times, a simple “i don't feel the same, but i appreciate you reaching out!” works. if they're being weird or pushy, you don't owe them kindness—just be direct. and if it’s someone you know personally, a more thoughtful approach is best. the goal? clear, polite, and drama-free.
the whole point of rejecting someone is laying all your feelings on the table and being completely honest to each other. you have to remember that it's hard as well for them to tell you how they feel about you, so the best way to reject someone is to be kind.
3. how to phrase it
not sure what to say? here are a few ways to reject someone without the awkwardness:
- “hey! i appreciate the message, but i don't see us that way. sorry.”
- “thank you for letting me know how you feel, but i'm afraid i don't feel the same.”
- “you seem cool! but i don't feel comfortable with you acting this way. i'd like it if you stopped.”
- (for creeps) “no.” (short, effective, no explanation needed.)
also. there's nothing wrong in letting ai write a small message for you. don't tell anyone i told you.
4. why ghosting isn’t the move
listen, ghosting can be tempting, but unless they’re being creepy, a quick message is always better. as i said before, it's hard as well for them to tell you how they feel about you! disappearing without a word leaves room for confusion and unnecessary drama. a short and clear response makes things easier for both of you. (but if they’re being weird? by all means, vanish as quick as possible.)
at the end of the day, rejection is just part of life. be honest, be firm, and don’t overthink it. i know it can be scary... nobody likes making someone feel bad—but the truth is, as a people pleaser, you can’t please someone forever. saying no doesn’t make you mean, it makes you real. and if someone ever rejects you, remember—that was one of the possible outcomes! it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or that you did something wrong. sometimes, things just don’t click, and that’s okay.
life goes on, and trust me, there are always new people,
new connections, and new conversations waiting for you.
– just me